I’m a strong believer that if you’re in a relationship and you both aren’t willing to do the same things for each other- then you aren’t meant for each other… There will be times where you are his Juliet but he is not your Romeo (and vise versa)… And that is okay- but you have to move on from that.. You have to be mature enough to recognize it and acknowledge it and walk away.. I have left many relationships even though he was the guy I would do anything for and the feeling was not reciprocated. And I have left relationships bc I felt they gave more then I was willing to give to them…
Both instances were hard, but it’s interesting that I am willing to stay longer in a relationship where I have the stronger feelings and am the one getting hurt… I’m willing to hurt myself more than I am willing to hurt someone else…
But in perfect world, neither should continue past the point of me realizing that we aren’t both each other’s Romeo and Juliet..
My 2019 Thoughts On This Entry:
** I was scrolling through old journal entries and came across this one and thought I would share it. It’s been my explanation when giving relationship advice to friends and for walking away from a few of my own personal relationships. Relationships that weren’t toxic but were maybe just not exactly right. Hoping it will make sense and help a few people out there. 🙂
This is my thoughts and preferences on some aspects of dating.
I’m not a big fan of the “many fish in the sea” saying, I need something more specific to shoot for. I like to say the world is full of Romeos and Juliets, you just have to find your match.
Romeo and Juliet would do anything for each other. It’s the ultimate love story (also kinda creepy when you dig into it). But I always love the idea that you could love someone so much that you couldn’t imagine life without them. I have felt that way before and have obviously learned to live without it. I have an understanding now that you can have that feeling more than one in a life time, you just have to find the person who feels the same about you.
It Seems So Simple:
Find the one you will do anything for and then make sure they will do anything for you. If not, move on until you get that feeling again. If you don’t have the feeling that there are no limits to the love you are willing to give the person you are with BUT the person you are with DOES, You are obligated to tell that person you don’t feel the same and let them move on.
Part Of The Dating Spectrum:
I definitely believe their are different types of dating that works for certain people. Pretty much everyone and every thing is on a spectrum of something now a days, Dating is one of them. Some people need different things out of relationship. The important thing is, you know what that is and know how to be open and honest about it in order not to waste your time and others (purposely wasting someones time is just using them).
Part of the dating spectrum is SHARING. It seems like everyone has a different level of what they feel comfortable sharing with. Do what works for you booboo 😉 . Just make sure you find someone that matches yours “sharing comfort level”. Some people need their independence and their separate life and that is fine. But you can not be with someone who has to share everything. . .
I know and am very open about the fact that I am comfortable with sharing EVERYTHING. I know what it entails and I know not everyone can handle it or finds it necessary, and that is fine. I’m not here to say mine is the only way. It is just the way that works for me.
Some people avoid this b/c it makes them uncomfortable or ashamed or what ever negative emotion that it drums up for them. To me, it is just a chance to learn from it and build from it. If we have a healthy loving relationship then jealously won’t be an issue. If it becomes one, then you’re pry not the one for me b/c I am acting at a lower maturity level then I know that I am capable of and if we can’t fix it then we aren’t each other’s Romeo and Juliet.
If I am with someone that I can see a future with then I want to learn everything I can about them. I like to visit every deep dark corner of your soul and learn about all your brightest moments and everything in between. I want to know how you came to be who you are now. How did you learn and grow and what do you still have to work on? It is soulful talk that builds a connection for me.
Not to mention that learning about all this is a tool to learn how to love that person better (unfortunately some use it to do the opposite). Two people that want to spend their lives together should know everything about each other. We are now a team. We have to know each other inside and out to make it. We have to learn about each other’s weaknesses to learn how to build each other up. If there are things you don’t want me knowing, then that leaves blindspots.
To me this is what building your life together entails. If I have anything less then it is just holding me back from growing and I would rather grow alone then be stuck with someone who isn’t loving me how I deserve.
I know exactly what I want out of a relationship and I have for awhile. I need someone who is mature and responsible enough to be completely honest with me even if you think I don’t want to hear it. I need someone who challenges me to grow in all aspects of my life, especially spiritually. I need someone who will call me out when I am not doing what is good for my soul in a loving way and allow me to do the same. I need someone who will challenge me to reach my capabilities. I want someone who is mature enough to let me hear about the heart aches and joys in their past and trust that I’ll love them more and not less. I need someone who looks at learning about each other as an adventure.
What I believe a relationship should be is only hard work when you’re with someone you don’t have passion AND compassion for. It’s easy when you literally see this person as your other half- If you disrespect them, you disrespect yourself.
Knowing someone so well builds a “Romeo and Juliet” or soulmate bond. Your memories start to bond together and then eventually, you can’t remember a time without this person… and with that, you can’t imagine ever being without them. Being so open builds a trust bc it’s like you have both been there for each other all along. but it takes two emotionally mature adults to do it (and keep it up). I have had relationships like this before so I know they exist, so now I don’t want anything less.
I honestly could live the rest of my life out single or not. I don’t care, either way I am happy. But what I won’t do is be in a relationship where they want a separate life from me. That is so much work. You have to try to figure out where you fit in constantly. It’s all or nothing. Either we combine our lives and become one or we can just stay friends. Going half in doesn’t work for me and I know this. Kudos if it does for you, it’s just not my cup of tea.